I cannot believe that today marks 2 years since the last time I saw you. In two years so much has changed. I still miss you so, so much, everyday. I've been finding photos of us together and sometimes a different memory that hadn't wandered into my mind recently comes floating back. I still remember you before you got sick - I remember your laugh, your accent, and all the funny things that you would do to get us to smile, but most of all I remember the way you loved me no matter what.
Lisa and i were texting each other memories today.. here's our list:
You using that big conch shell by the front door when we left and grandma yelling at you to stop
Lisa and I sliding down the big banister to the door
You not wearing your false tooth and then smiling at grandma to get her to yell
Going through the McDonalds drive through after paying for the food but not getting it
Buying pizza and chinese food at lunch because it was cheaper and reheating it for dinner
Your and mom's loud conversations about how the virgin Mary was in the last supper but she hadn't gone through puberty yet
Watching the planes landing and taking off at SFO
Two number two's at mcdonalds
There are so so many more but this is how I remember you grandpa - always happy. Those are the best memories. I miss you, always. Love you, so, so much.
Mom asked me last week if I would've preferred for her to call me when she knew he was dying so I could come say goodbye. I'm not sure if I would've liked to see him like that, especially knowing that he was not going to make it. Even though it may have meant closure and telling him everything that I wanted to say to him... I don't know if it would've made me feel worse. I'm not quite sure that I could've sat there next to him knowing that every breath may have been his last and that he really was dying.
Made it through the day okay. We'll see about tonight.