Laura (laura_boo) wrote,


is so fucking unfair.

the past few weeks have seemed to be trying times. i found out about a very dear friend's unexpected passing that has felt like a ton of bricks was dropped on me. i still struggle knowing that they aren't here, that it wasn't their time to go and i feel like something happened along the way. i know he wouldn't have wanted me this upset - but inside, i hurt. i hurt because he was a good person, because he meant well, because i should've been a better friend. my friend - i am so so sorry for everything - for the things that you went through, for what life handed to you because you didn't deserve it, because you never got to live your dreams. i think of you often, i pray for you and talk to you.

and now my dog... i don't know what i'll do if we really have to put her down. please god, jesus, st anthony anyone please don't take my dog now. all i can keep thinking is life is so, so unfair..

just when things were looking up.. when i got my hours and my pay back... when i'm starting to have a good social life filled with friends and laughter... i don't know how the heck things like this happen. i am so, so sad. i can't imagine having to go through a lifetime of this - of losing people - friends, family, pets, neighbors - how do you do it?

these tears just keep leaking from my eyes - at work i'm crying silently wondering how to get over it... it's not even getting over it's learning to live with it, without it... my life will never be the same - my life was different because you came into it.

oh my god grandpa i still miss you. i still can't believe you are gone. i know god needed you back but my heart still weeps for you. and without you... grandma is forgetting my name, my age, where i live... are you barbara's daughter? yes.. i'm your granddaughter, i'm 24 years old, i live and work in san francisco. i drive a gold car, don't remember you've seen it?

i know you're supposed to look back on the better times but damnit all they do is make me cry because i realize that they aren't here anymore. it doesn't make the pain more tolerable; it doesn't make it hurt any less. it makes me angry, it makes me upset. i want to get in bed and cry, cry because they aren't here and i can't talk to them, feel them, touch them, acknowledge them anymore.

and what happens when you die? is that it? what about this voice inside my head that never turns off is that gone?

oh god. how do you deal...

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life is change, and change is freaking hard. i am so sorry you are struggling sweetie. have faith God will provide you with the support you need. He will. <3

Saw your post in photography and instantly felt stricken.

I am going through this on this very night, with my beloved cat's deteriorating health... The pain is earth shattering, catastrophic and beyond devastating.

So my heart goes out to you, who have been in this place I call the truest of hells. Because nothing is worse than your loved one's life being stolen away; while you are powerless to do anything.

I wonder how you have done it, and managed to keep strong. So strong enough to proudly post what must be heartbreakingly nostalgic images from happier times.

She's heavenly.
I know she felt loved, always.
I am so, so sorry for what you are going through.

It sucks so, so hard. But when I saw her Saturday night...she wasn't the same Abby that she had always been and I realized that she was in pain. So Sunday when I found out that my parents had put her down I realized that it was for the best. More than anything I'm sad for myself because now my life is without her - and because she fought until the end but sadly it wasn't enough.

I cry. Often. I also write. I'm probably the type of person who should not own pets because I get too attached to them.

I also haven't ever been through this until I hit my twenties. My grandpa passed away when I was 23 and now my dog and various friends at 23 and 24. It's definitely not the same mentality as when I was 9.

I wish you the best with your kitty; I know its so hard but it's the one thing that we can offer them.

My sweet girl...thank you so much for your kind words.

I know this is about a dog.. but I'm sure you will get the idea.

Saying Goodbye...

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner till the end.

Please, understand just what this gift
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.

author unknown
I'm probably the type of person who should not own pets because I get too attached to them.

that's the only type of person who should have pets. it's hard to say goodbye and let them go, truly, i know what you're feeling. it will get better. :)

i rarely ever log in to LJ anymore but i did tonight for some reason and saw your pics on the photography group and they touched me. she was beautiful.